My World

My world is full of frustrations,
That leads me to state of confusion.
Just like a movie,
There’s drama, suspense, horror, and comedy.


For my 22 years of existence,
I’ve been a model to my sisters.
I give all my family the best
But still my world is full of mess.


I wish I have wings to fly,
Soar above the sky.
Yet my world is full of ups and downs,
Good and bad days that make me like a clown.


However, along the way
There’s “directions aids.”
I wish my wounds will cure with just one band aid.
But my world is full of examination,
Still looking for the right explanation.

My life as a teacher

It started having a little conversation when I went to my neighbor to visit. We talked about our life until our topic reached teaching. I mentioned my desire to work right after gradtuation if given the chance to volunteer. Fortunately, the neighbor I was talking to was teaching the Out-Of-School-Youth every weekend under the Alternative Learning System (ALS) which offers a free education for those who cannot afford formal. The program provides a viable alternative to the existing formal education instruction, encompassing both the non-formal and informal sources of knowledge and skills implemented by Department of Education.
I found it interesting as I always wanted to share what I have to others. So, I volunteer to teach computer stuff. There were 300 Out-Of-School-Youth and I handled 63 students in one session.The class was divided into two groups since there was only one computer unit and I taught the fundamentals of computer from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. every Saturdays.

During the first day, the students were so noisy and I didn’t know what to do with them. It’s hard for me to adjust and I did have difficulty getting their attention. I felt discouraged at first because when I came in, the students ignored my presence and they just kept going in and out from the class. I asked myself, "How did Ma'am Gen handle these students?" I thought I couldn't but yes I did! I was strict when I introduced myself for I wanted them to know that I mean business. I told them that I will start my lesson unless they will be quite. Then they listened. As I was discussing, they became interested in the topic I presented. It was a mixed emotion that I felt. In that aspect, I was quiet successful.
One of the students I had was a 73-year old named Conrada. I was really surprised because despite of her age she still wanted to learn. She was not ashamed to join the class, which I found so brave of her. I asked her why she decided to join this program when she had to spend her whole time in school every Saturday; she smiled with teary eyes and told me, “Because we’re not only meeting one person everyday of our lives. We will still encounter more people, so at least I know some things that will enable me to join the conversation.”
I had other students aged 16 who were not able to study in high school. Others are 20’s, 30's and even 40's. . Most of them wore only slippers in school. Some came from far places and they just walked going to school on weekends.
With what I have experienced, I make a lot of realization. I learned that students need to realize that every teacher has a message about something they truly can explain. Yet at the same time the teacher needs to be open to the students so that learning becomes reciprocal. We never know enough or know it all. The road will always be pretty rocky.

I also felt sad of how unfair life is at times for those less privileged individuals but at the same time I felt lucky that despite of growing up in a poor family, with all my sacrifices and problems that I thought I can’t pursue with my studies, still I have survived and here I am about to graduate! I feel so lucky and blessed!

Ma'am Gen asked me once why I have joined and volunteered myself. I told her the reason and it was because I have an angel who helps me in reaching my goals in life. And to spread the great thing and at the same time to reciprocate what my angel did to me, I want to help others too. Being a teacher is not really my interest but helping and sharing to others is a rewarding experience; more worthy than a diamond. The spiritual payment is priceless! We often meet new people; we can learn a great deal from each other, and we can always feel the excitement of trying on new things. I’m quite proud of myself for this little mission of mine hoping that the chain of sharing and helping will continue and will spread.

My life is like halo-halo

Halo-halo? You might think that my life is yummy and delicious but it’s not. I am in my senior year now and one of my subjects is Philosophy – Logic and Ethics. Here, I learn a lot. I always remember our instructor telling us that life is coupled with problems. Definitely true! Sino ba ang walang problema dito sa mundo?

We people in this fruit salad are all bounded by so-called – limitations and rules. Sometimes we find it really hard to live with all those expectations set by society. It is irritating to know that one needs to be accepted to gain respect which also means that one needs to do things even if sometimes he/she doesn’t feel like doing it.

But what is the reason behind our existence as human beings in this fruit cocktail world? Is it doing what others expects us to do or doing what we want to do even if it’s not what they expect from us? But life is a great mystery, right? And it will be sweeter to discover and unfold the secrets of like in your own.

There are times that the limitations that are being set bu societ are not the maximum of our abilities. There are times that we can go far beyong those limitations. There’s nothing wrong in going beyond as long as we know that we can defend it. we must keep in mind that the great people of old times became outcasts too for they strived to reach that far and go beyond those limitations in society. There are times for sure that we could huirt other in order to discover our own strengths and weaknesses. There are times also that we need to give-up to the sweetness of victory.

My life has always been like that. Sometimes I cry then laugh afterwards; sometimes I’m happy and other times I’m sad. And just like halo-halo, my life is a mixture of ingredients to make it more delicious.

We should speak up even if sometimes there’s stupidity. I usually speak up but there are times I end up crying like a fool. Nevertheless, I find it more important to speak up so I wouldn’t erupt. I have experienced heartaches, being misunderstood by my peers and relatives, confusion, anger, hatred. But beyond those ups and downs in my life, still I smile, and I learn to stand on my own stronger than before.

Bacolod- A whole new experienced!

As I passed by in the lobby, my attention was caught by the new poster posted in our bulletin board. It’s about the skills for social entrepreneurs training sponsored by British Council (United Kingdom’s international organization for educational opportunities and cultural relations). I was curious and I registered online right away.

One week before the training, I received a confirmation letter that informed me that I had been selected for the Bacolod round of the Skills for Social Entrepreneurs’ Training Caravan, which was hosted by the University of St. La Salle, on 21 & 22 August 2009. So I hurriedly asked for an endorsement letter from our school and started packing things. Wow, I’m glad that I was chosen as one of the 30 students for the Bacolod round.

I reached Bacolod on September 21st at noon and felt nervous because I was late. The program started in the morning though they already knew that I was coming at noontime since there was no other schedule for Superferry. They gave me a very warm welcome. I was the only participant from Misamis Oriental, there were 2 from Dumaguete College, 8 from West Visayas University, Iloilo city, and the rest are from colleges and universities in city of Bacolod.

At first, I was quiet for we spoke of different dialects and I didn’t have friends yet. So we could understand each other, , we spoke Tagalong. I was the only Bisaya and majority of them were Ilonggo. The participants and residents of Bacolod treated me nicely, their being friendly could be the reason why the city is known as the city of smiles. And namit gid and ila pagkaon!

On our first day of training, they grouped us into five and I belonged to group 3 together with the four participants from West Visayas University. The speaker Ms. Cristyl introduced the meaning of Entrepreneurship. Then the speaker explained each training module and activities to be done; they gave us enough time to do the activity with our group mates. During the open forum, the more I was hesitant because I noticed that they knew each other already. I just then realized that they came from the same school.

The second part of the seminar focused on the actual training that will equip the participants with the necessary tools to generate and develop our social enterprise business plan. It was an actual workshop where participants were given the basic working theory of written ideas put into actual action plans and developing our potential implementation. After that we had our presentation regarding our proposal on how to apply our entrepreneurial skills in the community to solve the ills of society. We had an open forum again together with my group mates. We then had a brainstorming.

The speakers also gave us the guidebook so we could write our ideas and plan on how to help and make a change. Our plan was to minimize numbers of out-of-school youth. We made our own mission and vision statements, theory of change that connects mission to action, activity to do to earn money and budgeting. We thought on garbage collection since it was a major problem in society and from the garbage they find treasure and help the youth.

In every group, 2 were assigned as reporters and I was surprised that I was one of the reporters in our group. I was uncomfortable at first to report our business proposal. I felt I was auditioning in Star Circle Quest with the 3 jurors, the representatives from the British Council, Ms. Cristyl, Mr. Arnel Casanova and Ms. Domingo.

I wanted to disappear when I started to report. I didn’t have the confidence to face from prestigious universities; they speak English fluently with American accent; our speakers were all magna cum laude in Ateneo de Manila. Even the participants didn’t look like students with their corporate attire. I was very conscious if I have uttered each word correctly but I still did my best and I think I’ve done the job well with the help of my group mates. I wanted to express what’s on my mind and pretended I was confident in facing them.

Social Entrepreneurship is a new term. It provides us with an alternative to solve some ills of the society. It is an innovative approach to provide solutions that will allow us to acquire material and social gains at the same time.

One thing I learned from this seminar is to be yourself. You don’t need to pretend just to please people. Just being you is enough to gain friendship and respect. The trip went so great and it’s the best seminar I attended in my whole life! I learned a lot besides being exposed to a new environment with new friends.

here it goes... still rockin' at 20

One morning, I woke up around five in the morning, tiptoeing so that my mother won't notice how freaked out I am. I woke up early for I was going to school for an activity to do.

People see me as Miss Fearless, Miss Unshakable and most of the time they misunderstand me on the way I act and on the way I talk but I don't need to pretend and change myself to please anybody. I've already wasted a lot of effort polishing that image to perfection to make people believe in me, to make myself even believe in me.

But how life has caught up with me all of a sudden has left me paralyzed with shock. For the first time in my 20 years of existence, I'm presented with the undeniable fact - I am all grown-up now. And I'm force to deal with it head on, myself.

There are times that I find myself alone late at night. Searching deep down in my soul, voice faltering, knees shaking and in serious cold sweat; I sometimes rocked myself to sleep, acting like a baby. I feel like I don't have the energy and strength to keep up. Reality has stripped me down to the core letting the whole world know my true color. Because the truth is, I am Miss Scary Cat, feeling like a loser, lost and confused like a little girl; afraid of the fact that I am an adult now. They said that 20 is the best age; a grown up lady, who needs to get off her huge dependency and groove with the times. A young woman, who needs to learn to keep up with technology.

So whenever I feel like choking myself to death, I lock myself in my room with red lights on, get down my knees and pray... "Dear God, make me a kid again because I am not ready for all of these. Adulthood scares the hell out of me."

Today’s Youth

“Today’s youth is very different before” I always hear that dialogue every time that there’s a dinner together with my family, grandparents, and relatives or even if there’s an occasion. It brings headache why we teens sometimes misunderstood. I asked myself why they always compare us of youth before and today.

But today’s youth is creative, easily cope up with things, easily learn, and fond of using new technology. When I was eating there in Panaderia bake shop, I hear the 2 ladies talking about their kids –“my son is very lazy and cannot able to finish his works because of playing online games in computer.” And even me sometimes I cannot able to finish household chores because of texting my friends with my cell phone.

Today’s youth is very independent. They want to stand on their own feet and impetuous teens or hotheaded. Some of the values being practiced by Filipinos before like kissing the hands of elders is slowly fade away. It’s not being practiced by many teens now unlike before.

What do you think is the best thing to do? Is it not good if we will combined the values now and before? Be creative and fond of new technology and at the same time more responsible and respectful.

Teenage blues

Teen years are the best years where puppy love and admiration are experienced. And being in this stage, one will most probably feel confused. Accordingly, young people always have problems that they sometimes become rebellious though there are still some who listen to their parents. They are oftentimes faced with a number of pressures from peers, parents, school and environment.
And here are some gentle ways which help to wash teenage blues:
1. Use silence – it’s especially effective when a teen is agitated, noticeably upset, defensive, hostile or feeling down.
2. Be a kind presence – it’s good when parents intend to jump quickly to fix the problems when a teen is upset and needs advice. Though there are things that cannot be easily fixed by parents but please just be kind and obedient in their presence.
3. Be served with good food – perhaps you had a favorite aunt or grandparent that when you visited them, you felt relaxed and understood. Instead of serving advice or criticism, they served you something good to eat and you felt comforted. Go to them and request them to cook your favorite food to ease your feelings.
Most of the time, teens are misunderstood but it is just a sort of open communication. More so, what we have experienced and about to experience are part and parcel of growing up to become better individuals and children of God.