Today, my cousin bought a cake. I love cake.
I always get excited if somebody invites me to a birthday party or any
occasion and it’s because of cake.
For my 24 years of existence, as far as I remember I only
celebrate my birthday once. I swear to
God only once and don’t have cake..Ever!
It was my 23rd birthday which was the best party of my
life. My friends brought foods and
donated for drinks. I only celebrated it
once but worth it. Eh kasi nga walang budget palagi.
When we were young, my mom always there and always has had a
budget for birthday celebration of my sister Yenyen. We have many pictures celebrating her
birthday, yummy foods, many visitors; she wore nice dress, and drinks.
My sister Yenyen was everybody’s favourite. She has many friends. I remember it so clearly, 3 of my aunts
worked as a domestic helper in Singapore and Hongkong. Everytime they sent a package (goodies from
them), my sister Yen always have a share and I don’t have. Sometimes, if I have share, it’s still not as
many and nice compared to hers. When my aunt married a foreigner and went to
Cebu, they brought my sister with them and I was left at home alone while she
was having fun strolling there. She
always had new notebooks while my brother and I received recycled notebooks
given by our aunt (eldest sister of my mom).
As what I’ve always said, she’s everybody’s favourite.
She was popular for she’s good in dancing and drawing. She was like a celebrity with many fans when
she dances. When we were teenagers, she
has many admirers/suitors. There was a
time, I was a sophomore student (second year high school) I have had a crush
with a junior drummer in a band and at the same time he was my school mate
(1year ahead of me). My sister and I
went to a carnaval, I saw my crush (OMG, cheeks were turning red..hahhah so
high school). He said “hi” to me with a
wholesome charming smile (and again, cheeks were turning red and this time
knees shaking..hahhah soo high school).
I thought he will make friends for he was snob but oh no, he asked who’s
the girl with me. So I introduced my
sister to him and they were shaking hands.
And there it goes, a jealous sister and I am talking about myself
here. I was pretending it was ok with
me; I became a translator since Ate Yenyen can’t talk well. We had fun though for he was the one who pay
for us to ride a ferries wheel, bought a pop corn too (hahaha we went there
with no budget for the rides. We supposed to watch only), and went home with
our bodyguard (am talking about my crush who liked my sister). But they never got into the stage of “more than friends”
maybe because they don’t understand each other.
When I was about to end my high school years, she met
another guy and then she got pregnant.
My mom wasn’t there and also my brother so only the two of us left at
home. I don’t know what to do; all I felt
the time was hatred because of the fact that she got pregnant early with a man
that doesn’t have plans in life.
When I was in college, I always joined in extracurricular
activities. I love engaging myself in
school activities and one of the best performances I did was when during our
foundation day where we performed a folk dance with a little drama portraying a
traditional way of courting a Filipina.
It was the highlight of the variety show where it was applauded by
many. My sister was very happy watching
me performing and acting. She said I was
the best dancer in our group. Well,
maybe she’s just my number fan ;)) and we’re sisters..heheheh..
After the show, one late evening we had our chit chats just
about everything. Then as I look at her,
I felt guilty that time. She had many
questions in life. She asked me why she
can’t talk well, why she fell in love and got pregnant early, why she can’t
able to go to college and perform onstage too like what I did? A lot of “why’s” and I don’t know the right
answer or I don’t know how either. She
wants to go to school, she wants to have classmates, she wants to draw, she
wants to have fun in school activities but she can’t. Many guys looked at her for she’s pretty and
sexy. She wore nice dresses and I was
just wearing simple old jeans or shorts and shirts, she’s friendly, outgoing
and I was always staying at home before, she’s good in dancing and I was shy to
dance, she’s pretty that is why she had many suitors but ended with a sad love
story just because of her disability to talk well.
I felt ashamed and guilty.
I don’t have the right to get jealous of her. I have the ability and capability to do
everything I want which my sister cannot.
Now, that I can able to buy new
books for myself she’s the one who get jealous with me. It’s not because I have new stuffs but
because she can’t work and able to pamper herself, feed her daughter by her
own.
Lately, as I browsed profiles on Facebook I read a sister quotes
and this is my favourite saying “Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the
strongest relationship.” She’s probably
my competitor but my sister never thinks we’re in a competition. Now that we grown up, our relationship
becomes the strongest one (oh God, forgive me for being jealous sister). . I
really admire her in the sense that despite of her disability, she remains
calm, friendly, not complaining, good single mother, and happy. My sister Yenyen is one of my inspirations to
continue life and one of the reasons why I am motivated in reaching my
goals. She’s always part of my
dreams. No more jealousy now, promised! And I don't care if I don't have cake, the important is she always have one.
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| We are sisters, we are friends. No matter what happen, I'm always by her side. And I don't get jealous this time ;)) |
